I'm surprised no one has done a satire set of lyrics based on the Christmas carol about roasting chestnuts on an open fire, especially with the growing popularity of the outdoor fireplace or fire pit. I decided to take a crack at the first few lines...
Marshmallows roasting on an open fire
Mosquitoes nipping at your nose
Crickets loud enough to be a choir
And men dressed up in speedos
I maybe on to something...